by Connie Brisson

It was tragically sad news.

When I recently heard that someone I knew from high school had committed suicide, it stunned me. I’m from a small town and while you don’t know everyone well, you do know them a little.

I couldn’t help but think of what he must have been going through inside. I thought about his family, his wife, his kids and the enormity of it all.

Then I humbly thought: “There but by the grace of God, go I.”

I had to look it up, but that phrase comes from John Bradford (in the 1500’s) who was imprisoned over something trivial, and after witnessing a group of prisoners being led to their execution, remarked: "There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford."

For me, that saying means that by the grace of God, I’m still here; that by the grace of God I came through some of the hardest times of my life, not due to cleverness or careful planning, but instead due to grace.

There have certainly been times in my life that were very difficult, when I wasn’t sure how it could ever possibly work out, but it always did. Thankfully, looking back on it all, my life has always had elements of grace.

I had a friend once who told me that she had a theory about life. Either the first half of your life was good and then the last half was challenging, or vice-versa. I told her, if her theory was right, the last half of my life would be endless days of bliss and joy. ☺

Certainly the second half of my life has been so much better, with Marcel and Gabrielle as the sparkling highlights. But the thing that has changed my life the most has not been my deep desire to fix everything including myself (because that has always been there), it has been finally finding a WAY to do it – a way to heal my inner wounds and find peace inside.

When I grew up I didn’t feel that the universe was so friendly and I felt I had to continually toughen up to cope with what life seemed to throw at me. So after each crisis, I just learned to build a stronger armor so I would be even more prepared for the next battle. But I never felt free. If there was a better way to live, I didn’t know it.

I was 37 years old when I finally came across CranioSacral Therapy and I instantly saw that this was a powerful way for me to release old memories, demons, patterns and I spent the next few years taking every course I could on it.

One of the things that I really liked about CranioSacral Therapy was that I didn’t need to know what was wrong with me to get results. I didn’t have to have it all figured out in my head. Just letting my body gently release its stored memories, traumas and tensions was enough. I could immediately see and feel my life changing from doing this. The more peaceful my body was, the more peaceful my mind was and … the more peaceful my life was becoming.

CranioSacral Therapy was just the beginning for me. Since then Mosaic Magazine has been my doorway into so many other wonderful therapies and healing moments. I’ve been in many sessions and workshops where I knew that the practitioner or facilitator had ‘saved my life.’ Not literally in that moment, but in a future moment.

When I get an awareness and clarity (that a certain thought, belief, memory is what was holding me back and attracting my crap), it ALWAYS feels like someone has given me my life back. It is life altering because we are creating from these unconscious places whether we realize it or not.

When you get it that the arrows your life is poking you with are only there to show you what you need to heal (and not just randomly falling from the heavens) the universe changes from being a battlefield where you need to protect yourself, to a friendly and supportive friend.

I’m so very thankful for all the therapies and methods we talk about in Mosaic, because these therapies do save people’s lives in big and small ways. When we have no hope, when we think things can never change, then we are lost. I’ve been there; we all have. But when we heal ourselves and our pasts, the future is full of hope.

“There but by the grace of God, go I” also means that I didn’t know what I was looking for to help me on my journey – it just found me. And by God’s grace, or the universe’s compassion, what we need DOES find us. Have faith.